From The Holy Church of Bacon

The Holy Book of Bacon, also known as Biblio Baconus in Latin, al-Khitab Khanzeer in Arabic, as well as "The Bacon Bible" in contemporary language, intends to serve as ones personal guide to Baconlightenment. All of the holiest texts in the history of Bacon and it's laws are included in this compilation. The complete text is provided here so as to present all the information in an unbiased fashion.

Contents 1 Complete Text 1.1 The Five Baconic Laws/Pillars 1.2 The Salty Scrolls 1.2.1 Book of Breakfast 1.2.2 Sky of Grease 1.2.3 Creation through Slaughter 1.2.4 Abdominis 1.2.5 The Man Made of Pork 1.3 The Fat Book 1.3.1 The Book of Journeys 1.3.1.1 Chapter 6 1.3.1.1.1 The Sins of the Vegetable 1.3.1.2 Chapter 9 1.3.1.2.1 Our Lord of Bacons Morning Hymn 1.4 Recipes

Complete Text

The Five Baconic Laws/Pillars

OR Baconmandments

• Thou shalt not consider Bacon on the same level as any other food, as it is above all.
• Thou shalt not consume imitation Bacon.
• Thou shalt not stop pursuing Baconlightenment until it is reached.
• Thou shalt not forget to consume Bacon for ten days.
• Thou shalt spread the word of Bacon to all.

The Salty Scrolls

The Salty Scrolls are a group short parables written at an unknown time. They are currently being translated. A preliminary version of Sky of Grease is complete and available.

Book of Breakfast

See Book of Breakfast.

Several lost fragments have been found in recent years. A recovery project funded from the grease-coffers of King Bacon II himself, translated piece-by-piece by scholarly team of the Bacon Baron and Lord Bacon of Sizzlingham, their work studiously overseen by his holiness the Bacon Bishop of Porkland. Below is a short excerpt of their work:

In the beginning there was nothing. Not pancetta. Not Quiche Lorraine. Not even double smoked applewood bacon, thick cut and fried until crispy. There was only the mother Sow. On the first day, the bacon-mother created the earth. From her belly, she took thick strips of bacon and shaped them into the land and she saw that it was delicious and that was the first day.

On the second day the bacon-mother took the bacon bits that had formed on the earth and mixed them with bacon grease. From this, she made the trees and animals of the world, making the pig in her own likeness. She also made man so that there would be a being to appreciate the bacon. And she saw that it was very delicious and that was the second day.

Sky of Grease

See Sky of Grease.

Year 424 of the Hog Mother's Reign:

As the Hog Mother watches us, we feast upon her gift to us. The tender, slippery slices of her infinity fill us with nourishment. They slide down our throats, and we engulf them, happily gobbling the life they were meant to give.

Year 427 of the Hog Mother's Reign:

As a cold night comes upon us, we are forced to beg Her for warmth. She provides us with the cover of her skin, saved from the hundreds of pigs that have been sent our way. She graces us with a fire and some streaks of her belly and jowls to help us through the night.

Year 428 of the Hog Mother's Reign:

Clothed in Bacon, belly of Bacon, mouth and stomach full of Bacon, we have gone too far. The Hog Mother has been angered. We have been greedy and taken more than we needed. The sky darkens and streaks of grease flow across it at speeds unfathomable. We are frightened, but we know not what exactly we fear. The Hog Mother has always been at peace. Why have we failed her?

Year 430 of the Hog Mother's Reign:

The sky is still captured by her wrathfulness. It has remained a dark-orange for the past two years. We have not eaten since it began. We have lost the need for Bacon. It aches us to imagine its sweet, chewy goodness, but the Hog Mother does not sway.

Year 548 of the Hog Mother's Reign:

The sky is streaked with grey stripes among the orange. For 120 years, the Hog Mother has left us in terror. She tore us from our love, from her flesh. But we no longer feel terror. We no longer feel the loss we once did.

Year 549 of the Hog Mother's Reign:

Today our cursed living death shall end for the 15 of us who remain, we who have not yet strayed. Many have left for a life of infinite solitude, of infinitely no Bacon. We have stayed behind in the vain hope that community would comfort our loss. But today our cravings shall be smitten by our suicide. We lived for Bacon, now we die when it has left us.

Creation through Slaughter

See Creation through Slaughter.

Abdominis

See Abdominis.

The Man Made of Pork

See The Man Made of Pork.

The Fat Book

See The Fat Book.

The Fat Book is a collection of deeply Baconic poems and verses which hold significance to all Baconists, Consumer and Flavorless alike. As of yet, it's merely fragments, but we are hard at work piecing together its holiness.

The Book of Journeys

Chapter 6

The Sins of the Vegetable

See The Sins of the Vegetable.

1. And lo, the Baconites descended into the Valley of Green and met with the Broccolians where they saw the decadence and sin their neighbors had engaged in.
2. The fields overflowed with exposed leafy flesh and no Bacon was grown.
3. Cheese was intermingled with devil broccoli in pagan ceremonies to their nefarious gods.
4. The sight of such depravity caused Saint Wendy of Baconator to gouge her eyes out with much wailing and beating of her breasts.
5. The cries fell upon the ears of the Hog Mother and she wept.
6. The Baconites set a great fire to purify the land and the Hog Mother was pleased.
7. Once the vile Broccolians were stricken from the land the devout began the season of Bacadan and all enjoyed days of fasting and nights of Bacon.

Chapter 9

Our Lord of Bacons Morning Hymn

See Our Lord of Bacons Morning Hymn.

1. What hath the Lord made for my morning's rise?
2. Hath He not shown me His favor of flavor which I seek to savor and for which I labor?
3. Oh great Lord Baconator deliver me from the oats of sin and the broccoli of deceit!
4. For this I pray great Lord of Bacon amen.

Recipes

Other Bacon recipes not in the Holy Book of Bacon.